Being and Ex-Pat (Ex-Patriot) is not an easy thing at all. Moving anywhere from your home country presents multiple challenges like language, culture and even landscape and climate changes.

Many people become Ex-Patriots because they believe that moving to a different land will present better opportunities and quality of live as opposed to living in their home country.

For some, the reason of exploration is a highly desirable calculated risk and many people, youth and elderly alike are beginning to seek a land that brings them peace and respite.

For me personally, ever since I was a child I was obsessed with France. I told my parents when I began speaking that one day I will live in France. Of course at that age, everyone thinks it’s just a big dream and probably will never be a reality but for me, it was a voice inside that I just couldn’t silence.

It was that nagging feeling that I wouldn’t be rested until I was there.

I decided to listen more closely to the voice and applied to be a resident artist at a prestigious residency in 2021 and I was accepted! I was going to France and let me tell you, the preparation was a lot.

I had to raise money, get my flight, and foretell what would become of my business that was ultimately like my child.

Fast forward to 2023 and I accepted the residency and flew out to France for my first time and my first big trip. Amazing isn’t even how I would describe it; more like inspiring, loving, peaceful, fulfilling and on and on and on.

After completing my residency, I spent 2 months in Paris to see what it would be like living here and decided that I would want to move back permanently.

It felt like I was home, like I finally settled where I belonged.

I did what I needed to do back in the US and literally sold all of my items and prepared myself for the next phase of my life; in France.

Being an artist and a business owner in France is actually quite easy administratively. They really value artists and especially artistic business owners so the transition wasn’t exactly a hard one.

In under a year, I was able to find which area of Paris I wanted to live in and get to know the local grocery stores, farmers markets and get used to the schedule and transportation.

I am literally living in my dream home, with my dream view and a river near by me that I can sit at whenever I want.

But some of the cultural differences did take me quite some time to get used to and assimilate with.

Smiling is an American Past Time

The very first culture shock for me was realizing that in French culture, smiling is not considered to be a norm, rather, not smiling is. The French are known historically to be cold and not friendly like Americans. American’s are known to be overly friendly and partake in small talk whereas most of Europe, especially France, does not do this and they actually find it quite odd.

Smiling to someone on the street and saying “hello” is against the cultural norm. There are however, times that I will be out walking and I will get the “Bonjour” from strangers and it makes my American heart happy. Every time that I am eating outside the home, I also get “Bon App’d” meaning random strangers walking by will wish me a “Bon Appetit” and I love those little moments of well wishes!

I love to smile and I love to laugh and I am incredibly boisterous also, so the switch to being calm, quiet and non-expressive was probably the hardest part of integrating into French culture for me. It’s as if I had to tone down parts of my personality but I look at it as a welcome change as French customs put a lot of emphasis on energy and maintaining “good energy” so if they are not feeling a certain emotion, they find it unnecessary to force an emotion out.

The laid back atmosphere of France was also something that drew me to this beautiful country but it was something that took me some time to get used to.

The norm here is to be quick and expedious but also allow intuition to rule over everything. If you don’t feel like going, then don’t go, if you feel like getting up in the middle of the work day and going for a walk along the river, then by all means go. Have fun! (But not to much fun)

Quiet Please

The French value quiet and also emotional repression but it really hit me when I went to celebratory venues, like the Olympics and noticed it was a few decibles quiter than anything I’ve been to back in the US.

France actually has noise laws and not only the laws but people will stop and shush you if you are being to loud and to obnoxious.

Emphasis on Art

France really does respect artists and creatives. So much so that they will actually find you studio space to use, find gallery shows for you to be a part of among a myriad of other artistic and creative things.

Being successful in the US as an artist usually involves a lot of red tape, like tax ID numbers, opening a gallery space yourself, marketing and all types of other things but in France you can be a creative without having to worry how you will put food on your table at night. Also, France looks at artists almost as celebrities. If you tell them that you are an artist that is making a living from your art, you are regarded in higher esteem than scientist and even doctors.

It’s not a matter of wealth but a matter of “energy.” If you can prove to the French that you create beautiful work, you will earn their respect. If you can prove to the French that you make a living from your beautiful art and people buy it, then you earn even more respect from them whereas in the US, most people see artists as wayward souls – even if they are entirely self-sufficient and successful, many Americans don’t look at art as culturally necessary which actually has some relevance as France is one of the most culturally relevant societies that ever existed.

Value of Life

I think the most staggering difference for me was that when I arrived, alongside the calmness, I realized that the partial overall atmosphere of quiet was due to the fact that there weren’t any guns being shot. Violence was minimal.

I would say as an Ex-Pat (American) that going from a country that has multiple mass shootings a year, there is something about living in a country where this doesn’t happen, if at all and when it does, they are staunch to bringing laws into action.

No matter where you are in the US, you’re prone to hearing gun shots monthly, if not weekly. It becomes so commonplace that most American cities have a game “Is it fireworks or gunshots” which is both sad and true.

I remember the first 4 months, it was hard for me to sleep at night because it was so quiet. I ended up staying in one of the more rowdy arrondisements of France but even though it was rowdy and there were a lot of people, there was a general calm that came over the area at almost 11pm nightly. There were hardly any police sirens, ambulances and I have yet to see a French fire truck on the street because alongside no guns and excellent healthcare, they also take fire safety very seriously too.

I did not feel safe walking alone at night in most places in my home state of Pennsylvania but in Paris I have no issues taking the train or metro even at 3 AM. There is a general safety that encompasses this country and it is one of the reasons I think my spirit led me here.

I will say that there are always tensions in every country and here the tensions are different. There is not the blatant racism that plagues the US but there is definitely an air of “unease” among the Arab and Jewish communities and the people from the African Diaspora also.

I never thought I’d see armed guards in front of Synogogues but while I was on a date to the iconic Buddah Bar, I witnessed various armed guards standing outside and it really hit me where Europe was at with their tensions.

The atmopshere here overall is highly peaceful, even if the right-leaning French say it has “gotten worse.” There is something to be said about not waking up to mass shootings weekly or being worried about who the next casualty and fatality at the hands of law-enforcement will be.

Statistically speaking, America is considered a rather dangerous country to live in and one of the most violent, as it is more dangerous than Algeria in regards to terrorism and National unrest.

Of the world’s top 20 safest countries, 14 are in Europe.

Architecture

One thing I love about France in general is the beautiful architecture. The architecture is beyond phenomenal and the energy that emanates from these buildings is incredible.

France is an old country with a rich history and is considered an outdoor museum so whenever boredom comes over me, I only need to take a quick metro or train ride to satiate my inspirational cravings.

Culinary Differences

One major thing that stuck out to me and that sticks out to many Americans when they come here is the difference in cuisine from the food quality to other things.

Overall, the food quality is incredibly different and is formulated different than a lot of food in the US.

America has some amazing culinary marvels and France does as well.

One of the main things I miss is Chinese cuisine and I didn’t realize that the Chinese food we eat in America, is mostly heavily American influenced.

Crab Rangoon and Chow Mei Fun is mostly American. The Chinese culture here is not as big as in the US mainland because of the distance and other factors so China’s influence alongside the American culture is more heavily tauted.

Another cuisine that doesn’t have a large imprint in France is Mexican food. The Mexican food in France consists of nachos with Guacamole and burritos and tacos but it is rare you will see sizzling plates of fajitas and Queso Blanco is nowhere to be found. Mostly because some of the ingredients are not either allowed here or manufactured here.

I can’t even post all of the photos of delicious food I took because they would never end.

Diversity

France has a large, diverse population. This is one of the reasons I needed to move here. I never in my life believed I would see so many African immigrants in one place but people from all over the world reside in France, Paris and the suburbs alike.

You can be anywhere and hear dialects of the African Diaspora being spoken to Swedish, German, Spanish and everything in between.

When I first moved here, my 2 roommates were from Lebanon and The Congo. It was such a sweet opportunity to be able to live alongside such very different but caring and gentle people.

When I am out in the city, I come across at least 5 different cultures a day. The bus driver may be Moroccan, the restaurant owner may be Algerian, the Security officer may be Spanish and so on and so on.

Coming from America and what we consider ourselves in terms of diversity, I was amazed at just how vast Europe was and how much more growth America can do in terms of diversification.

Ending Thoughts

Overall, I miss my friends in America sometimes a lot but they have ended up coming out to visit me and seeing me. I miss my culture at times but I can say that France has shown me things that I never expected and living here has forced me to grow as a person as well.

Living here has forced me to pay attention to my intuition more and not ignore it and I really believe the calmness of this country is what forces that intution to grow.

Most people I’ve met here that are French are incredibly intuitive to the point of absurdity. The types of people that look at you and know things about you that they shouldn’t know but just do.

France is like a mother that gave me a huge hug when I arrived and continues to nurture and help me grow into the best version of myself.

I get comments all of the time on my appearance and my energy and people tell me how happy I look at how my energy is different and I can firmly say that it’s the environment that has changed it.

Environment has a huge part in self-care and for me this move has done more for my mental health than anything I have ever done for myself.

This is also the next step in my career, which has flourished since I’ve been here. I started out selling paintings for $75 USD and now my value as an artist is helping me sell my work for over $10000 now.

Moving here has been one of the best things that I could have done for not only my career but my mental health also.

I will only continue to grow and love this country the more that I am here because living here has done so much for me in the terms of artistic and personal growth.